On Race, Privilege, and Medicine
  • oRPM
  • ...mini-blog...
  • Contact Me!
  • Didactics and Consulting

Buzzkill Party Pooper

2/8/2010

4 Comments

 
This weekend was one of the much admired events of the M1 class. After a year of weekly quizzes that must be completed over the weekend, advancement to the M2 year brings a slight reprieve and there are several weekends throughout the year where nothing is required. While many of our professors might be concerned that a weekend without assignments might encourage us medical students to stop learning for 48 hours, I assure you that our second year of medical school has brought on a new maturity. Even without deadlines, the learning continues.

While I did not do much learning about the gastrointestinal system, I did make sure to broaden my horizons in other areas. They say that the best way to truly learn new vocabulary words is to use them. So in the spirit of this, I shall continue to cement this weekend's lesson by way of this blog:

Similar to our Wetback situation in the United States, what to do about the Boatpeople is a controversial topic in Australian politics.

Proving that educational moments come in places beyond the classroom, I learned this new vocabulary word at a party that I went to a few days ago. Birthdays, desserts, and drinks, oh my! And then ignorance reared its ugly head. This always happens. I think some people believe that I go around looking for arguments and that I provoke them. Certainly, some of the eyes that were rolling during the conversation indicated to me that this might be the case.  But honestly, I don't even know how we got there.

Somehow the topic of racism was jokingly raised. The next thing I knew, I could feel the conversation escalating. The group had somehow started shifting from party-jokey-jokey conversation where everyone was involved to we-are-arguing-but-trying-to-remain-friendly-and-pretend-its-still-a-fun-time exchange between two people.

I was told that while there might be racism against Asian people some places, there are also places where that isn't a problem. A shining example of that is Australia.

Time out. So what do you do? You can't just let a comment like that go, but how do you proceed with this conversation in a setting of fun without making things angry or awkward? It's a topic that I often discuss with my girlfriend. In the past I've tried to just nip it in the bud and then move on. In cases where someone uses a word like “gay” to mean “stupid” it's simple. “Please don't use that word that way. I think it's demeaning to queer people.” Sometimes that works, but then once someone got defensive and argued back with me and then it was angry and awkward. Plus, it's not a good strategy for missteps that are a bit more complicated.

Then there's the gentle white people approach of trying to ask questions to point out inconsistencies or stereotyping: “Oh that's interesting. You could tell that he went to community college just by looking at him?” But then sometimes they're so obtuse that the point is lost completely. In this case I was given a detailed description of how you can tell a Michigan student from a Washtenaw County Community College student by appearances alone. Yet another learning moment.

Sometimes if it has really pissed me off, I just say something equally as mean later.

Boatpeople just need to go back to their own country.

In this case I tried to take the deferent approach without backing down. I recognized that though I had never lived in Australia, I had only visited for a few weeks, there were things that I noticed there that seemed to say otherwise. I cited the national politician that ran on the platform of “stopping the Asian Invasion.” I was rebutted that they weren't elected. (Maybe we were thinking of different people but the politician I was talking about was elected to office.)  I pointed out that though most stores close in Australia by 8 or 9, there are a handful of stores that are open late or all night. They're staffed solely by Asian people. And while there might seem to be a bunch of Asian people running around in suits in Sydney, what about all the Asian people who work the labor jobs that are more invisible to people like us? And then she said, “Oh, you mean the boatpeople?”

I was shocked into silence. After a moment I guess I switched strategies and just tried to point out the absurdity of what was just said. “There's a word for it? You have a word that everybody recognizes in common usage?” It was explained to me that boatpeople were “the illegals.” If I had a bit more presence of mind I might have been able to say something like, “You're right. We have a word similar to boatpeople in the States. It's wetbacks and it's for Mexican people. But just like you guys, there isn't any racism against Mexicans here.”

I actually can't totally remember how the conversation ended. I think people were laughing. I tried to say something more but it was clear that I was being seen as having a stick up my butt. And it passed with me feeling like my point had not come across and feeling like everyone thought I was jerk.

Less than 24 hours later I was sitting in a bar with a different group of friends and was told while he was shaking his head, “I'm all for ethic food, but Traditional Chinese food smells.” No one said anything. I don't know if anyone even realized how awful a statement it was. If anyone did, no one came to my rescue. And I was tired of this and angry; it was so close on the heels of the night before and the last thing I wanted was another lose-lose situation where I had to chose between letting hurtful things slide or knowing that everyone was wishing that I would just shut up.

So then I didn't say anything. But then it I couldn't control the hurt and anger. Before I could even think about it, later, randomly in the conversation I snapped back an insult that was supposed to point out his whiteness, but also mistakenly insulted his girlfriend. Though I felt remorse for the collateral damage, it seemed impossible to unpack everything that had happened in any reasonable way. And so for the rest of the night she didn't smile at me and I didn't know what to do.

Boatpeople are irrationally mean and angry people that are prone to randomly insult white people at bars when everyone else is just trying to enjoy themselves.

There. I've used it three times now. Consider it learned.
4 Comments
Jin
2/9/2010 12:26:43 am

Thanks for this post, Jess. I find myself in similar situations quite often, especially if I don't take pains to surround myself with only the friends that have the same reactions to this stuff as I do. Just yesterday, I felt really uncomfortable with something that came up in class. But as I talked to a few of my classmates about it hoping to have my reaction affirmed by other people, I got the "Oh really? What's the big deal?" reaction. I constantly feel like I'm the person with the stick up her ass.

We're entering a profession that's built on standards, protocols, conformity. And whether I like it or not, after less than 2 years I notice that I've definitely been changed by the culture of medical profession. It's increasingly difficult to identify as a radical. I increasingly brush off things in conversation that I would have, 3 years ago, stopped the conversation to address. And I feel helpless to stop all of this. Have you felt this way? And what's your reaction to it?

Reply
Megan Kelso
2/9/2010 07:21:16 am

Hi Jess,

It sounds like that was a thoroughly frustrating weekend.

I don't have to deal with racist comments nearly as often as it sounds like you do (maybe because of the folks I'm around, and because I'm in the majority -- I think that makes it come up less).

However, I thought I'd leave this thought, which I find useful when giving critical feedback in general: I find that people are more receptive to my criticism if I can frame it in a way that does not make them feel defensive. Two things that I've noticed often trigger defensiveness (in myself and others) are 1) saying that someone is flat out wrong, and 2) implying that they INTENDED to be offensive. I find that giving people an out, so they don't feel stuck in a corner and like they have to defend their comment helps.

For example, "Perhaps you're right, that in some ways Australia is less racist towards Asian people than some countries. For example, there are Asian people in high-paid business jobs in the big cities. However, there's still a long way to go. When I was there I saw evidence of this in the rural areas and in the lower-paid jobs...."

Or, "I don't think it was your intention, but I felt uncomfortable when you said...because..."

In response to the Asian food smells comment, perhaps a good way of responding (that would point out the ignorance of his generalization and also allow him to feel heard and not humiliated) would be to rephrase his comment. For example, "So, you haven't liked the smell of traditional Chinese food that you've tried..."

It takes a lot of thought and energy to respond to comments like that.

Anyway, hello. Nice to read your thoughts.

Megan Kelso

Reply
Jess link
3/9/2010 12:40:06 am

Hey Jin,

Thanks for the comment. Sorry it's taken me a bit to get back to you.

I think it's a big struggle for me. Reflecting back on these past two years I think part of why it's been so difficult is that struggle with that disconnect.

But I think I've had more of a reactionary response. What I struggle with is my own anger and frustration and not letting it drag me down. I've been trying to work on how to emotionally disengage from conversations such that my whole life is full of stomped on hope.

My girlfriend, who I think has the benefit of being an observer and thus has some extra insight into how I feel, thinks that part of why it seems to be so hard for me is that I seem to, in part, be seeking validation from those around me and so it's extra frustrating since that's clearly not happening as often as I seem to expect it. When I reflect on that comment and look within myself, I think that to be true. Curious, but somehow true. So that's something that I've been thinking about lately.

Ultimately, I've found that some of the most helpful things are 1) trying to create safe spaces for myself and 2) engaging with the issues on my own time. I've been reading a lot and hearing folks write about the issues that I see is extremely validating and calming. To know that people who are highly respected in their fields think about the same things that I do is relieving. The reading group on privilege that I started with a few of my classmates has also been helpful in the sense that it's helped me remember our humanity and it's been a way for me to feel proactive with these issues. And writing.

But there are definitely times that I feel downtrodden. Overwhelming. And then I just plod through the motions of school. In those moments it often feels like I've lost my inspiration for the world and my passion for life. My actions are reduced to obligations of how I know I ought to live as opposed to infused with hope for change. And that's hard. I suppose these things wax and wane.

I think in the end I guess the privilege of being in school is that at least for the next few years, our path is relatively clear. We just plod along. Ultimately, I know that when I die, given my place in the world, I will have had an overall negative impact in the world than one for positive change. I think it is that knowledge that keeps me plodding along, not necessarily in any hope that I'll do good (because these days I doubt my own strength and ability to truly relinquish my privilege), but because I would feel too guilty otherwise.

Reply
Wendy
4/8/2010 01:59:35 pm

Jess,
You are too hard on yourself. You had made a lot of impact in someone's life already. You had changed the life of the workers at the hotel. You get them start to organize the union. You should give yourself more credit an pet yourself on the back from time to time.
Wendy

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    What I've been reading:

    The Dark Forest (Remembrance of Earth's Past #2)
    ​
    by Liu Cixin

    Picture

    about this blog

    A place where I can write my thoughts on race, on privilege, on class, on being a doctor. Part of the endless struggle to become a little bit more enlightened and feel a little less alienated.

    Agree with me. Call me out. Pass it on.

    I post once or twice a month with smaller comments on mini-blog.

    about me

    My name is Jess. In the interest of full disclosure: I'm a 30-something-year-old Chinese American and believer that the quest for social justice and equity must be an intentional and active one. I'm a Family Medicine physician. I'm queer. I'm a radical. I grew up in a mostly white suburb and my parents are white-collar workers.  And I don't eat meat, but I miss it sometimes.

    categories

    All
    Conferences
    Film
    Food
    Interracial Relationships
    Labor
    Lessons From The Motherland
    Links
    Medical
    News
    Prattle
    Race
    Rainbow
    Reading Group
    Writings
    Yellow

    archives

    March 2018
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2014
    June 2013
    December 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    January 2012
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    June 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009


    Subscribe via email!
    (no lists ever sold)

    Picture
    a radical news collective

    Featured on BlogHer.com
Copyright © 2016 by Jessica Guh