sometimes thinking about these things makes my head look like this
It's hard to know what to write sometimes. I think that there are so many ideas floating around and things that I want to say that it feels overwhelming to try to record such a jumbled disorganization of thoughts.
The first meeting happened about a month ago and actually didn't have any readings attached to it. We hoped to make it a relaxed, friendly environment so veggies and dip, some beer, some wine. I was a full-blown young adult. The agenda:
The first meeting happened about a month ago and actually didn't have any readings attached to it. We hoped to make it a relaxed, friendly environment so veggies and dip, some beer, some wine. I was a full-blown young adult. The agenda:
>- welcome and brief intro to the train of thought inspiring the reading group
>- 5 min writing and sharing:
----> why we joined the group?
----> what we hope to get out of it?
----> what are our feelings about joining the group?
>- establish ground rules together
>- brief overview of the readings and the authors (their POV, identity)
>- 5 min writing and sharing:
----> what is identity?
----> why do folks claim identities? the purpose of identities?
----> what are my identities?
----> how do i think other people see my identity?
>- first set of readings introduced in more details (white privilege set)
>- 5 min writing and sharing:
----> why we joined the group?
----> what we hope to get out of it?
----> what are our feelings about joining the group?
>- establish ground rules together
>- brief overview of the readings and the authors (their POV, identity)
>- 5 min writing and sharing:
----> what is identity?
----> why do folks claim identities? the purpose of identities?
----> what are my identities?
----> how do i think other people see my identity?
>- first set of readings introduced in more details (white privilege set)
I was moved. Everyone involved was really brave about being honest about themselves: their thoughts, their fears and apprehensions, their feelings. People really put themselves out there. But what made such an impression on me was how moved folks were to be part of the group. People shared that they were honored to be a part of the group, that they were proud to be engaging in this sort of discourse, that this was something that they regarded to be important in their own lives.
I was taken aback. People seemed so affect by just being part of this exploration. Maybe it's because I just kind of got used to this sort of discourse around me. The program I was a part of after I graduated had "political education" sessions every month and retreats every six months that delved into these issues. My good friends from college regularly send out articles and thoughts on these topics over email to share and discuss. In most of my own social circles, we frequently talk about these sorts of things. Most often, they're not even in formal discussions, just casual conversation. So unconsciously I began to lose touch with how often most folks actually get the chance to talk about these things.
I think that it's the first time that I've truly understood what it means when white folks tell me that "they've just never had the opportunity or gotten to think about these sorts of things before." I think previous to this experience I've understood that this is the case, but only in a rational sense. And despite the slow progress that I've made over several intense discussions with close, white folks around me that I trust; internally, some part of me still didn't really understand what that meant. Part of me believed that it was still, active, willful ignorance.
And I think part of me still believes that. I think folks of privilege (a group in which I belong) can always be doing more to educate themselves about their own privilege and the consequences of that. Furthermore, as humans, we can always be doing more to understand the lives of those around us and the systems that are at play. But on the other hand, these folks seemed to be so moved; they seemed to be so touched; they seemed to think this was so important. They almost seemed grateful to have had the opportunity to engage in this. So how could it be that they were actively using their privilege to avoid in engaging in these issues as vehemently as I often allow myself to imagine they do?
I was taken aback. People seemed so affect by just being part of this exploration. Maybe it's because I just kind of got used to this sort of discourse around me. The program I was a part of after I graduated had "political education" sessions every month and retreats every six months that delved into these issues. My good friends from college regularly send out articles and thoughts on these topics over email to share and discuss. In most of my own social circles, we frequently talk about these sorts of things. Most often, they're not even in formal discussions, just casual conversation. So unconsciously I began to lose touch with how often most folks actually get the chance to talk about these things.
I think that it's the first time that I've truly understood what it means when white folks tell me that "they've just never had the opportunity or gotten to think about these sorts of things before." I think previous to this experience I've understood that this is the case, but only in a rational sense. And despite the slow progress that I've made over several intense discussions with close, white folks around me that I trust; internally, some part of me still didn't really understand what that meant. Part of me believed that it was still, active, willful ignorance.
And I think part of me still believes that. I think folks of privilege (a group in which I belong) can always be doing more to educate themselves about their own privilege and the consequences of that. Furthermore, as humans, we can always be doing more to understand the lives of those around us and the systems that are at play. But on the other hand, these folks seemed to be so moved; they seemed to be so touched; they seemed to think this was so important. They almost seemed grateful to have had the opportunity to engage in this. So how could it be that they were actively using their privilege to avoid in engaging in these issues as vehemently as I often allow myself to imagine they do?
